I'm leaving the old intro here, but adding this- it appears the doves have taken over my blog for their fiction. Just as well, I was doing a piss poor job of updating. They're doing much better.

This blog is infrequently updated, full of incorrect spellings, misused words, and general bad grammar. It started when I was trying to use google+ (which I've since given up on) and discovered there was no character limit for posts. If you've known me a long time, a lot of these stories will be old hat. If you plan to know me for a long time, you'll no doubt hear many of them in person. But, folks seemed to enjoy them, so here they are.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Eighty Third Story

On seeing a billboard reading "When you die, you will meet God"
There will be a cocktail party. You'll be introduced to god, but angels mumble, and you will not quite place any of the names of god you are given. You will try to make small talk, anyway, because you were brought up that way. You ask after god's profession and hobbies. God will say "oh, you know, a bit of everything". You were not really well off before you died, and you remember how stressful working odd jobs can be. You will say something like "oh, well, if you ever need a place to stay between jobs, I've got a really comfortable couch with your name on it". God will smile sincere thanks and then wander off towards the mini-quiches. You will never speak with god again, but you will forever fondly remember how you were not called out on it when you had your foot in your mouth at that party.