I'm leaving the old intro here, but adding this- it appears the doves have taken over my blog for their fiction. Just as well, I was doing a piss poor job of updating. They're doing much better.

This blog is infrequently updated, full of incorrect spellings, misused words, and general bad grammar. It started when I was trying to use google+ (which I've since given up on) and discovered there was no character limit for posts. If you've known me a long time, a lot of these stories will be old hat. If you plan to know me for a long time, you'll no doubt hear many of them in person. But, folks seemed to enjoy them, so here they are.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

the two hundred and seventy fifth story

How to make Disappointment:
Recipe by kest
Take one substandard teabag.
Dunk it, repeatedly, in a mug of lukewarm water.
Consider whether this situation is one that could be improved by complaining to the waiter.
Decide that no, it cannot.
Sip at you warm water for the length of the meal

Friday, December 30, 2016

the two hundred and seventy fourth story

How to make a "throat coat" style tea:
recipe by kest
Brew a nice fresh pot of earl grey tea
Open a packet of black twizzlers
Allow tea to chill a few minutes
Use twizzler as a straw to drink your earl grey
The tea will melt the licorice slightly, carrying its flavour along as it flows through the twizzler
Enjoy, and feel better soon!

Thursday, December 29, 2016

The two hundred and seventy third story

How to make Chocolate Tea:
Recipes by kest
Use previous recipe for decaf earl grey
Pour yourself a cup.
Remove dinosaur shaped chocolates from bag
Play with chocolate dinosaurs until their surface begins to melt slightly onto your fingers
Eat chocolate dinosaurs
Stir the now slightly cooled decaf earl grey with your chocolate covered fingertips

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

the two hundred and seventy second story

How to make happiness:
Recipe by kest
There is candy in this stocking!
Holy shit! There is also fancy looseleaf tea!
And there's this teapot that you gave someone else for christmas...
Much love to all, happy Sunday, merry new year, and enjoy any and every celebration you can justify.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

the two hundred and seventy first story

Missed Connection: Me- a stuffed dragon  You- a human

The last time I saw you, it was as you were throwing me out onto the ice. Maybe you thought I should learn to skate. Maybe you planned to come out after me, and your mom nixed the plan. I don't know. But some other folks found a twelve foot pole and pulled me in. I'm waiting for you in the shelter, right on that point we used to spend so much time on. You know the one- ut juts out into the pond, and we used to watch the ice skaters from there. (Ice skaters ON A RINK. You need a RINK to skate. Despite our recent differences, I hope you'll come back. I forgive you, and I just want to move forward from here. If you still need more clues, I'm the purple dragon whose tag reads "adrian"

Monday, December 26, 2016

The two hundred and seventieth story

How to make Sadness:
Recipes by kest
Make a fresh pot of nice hot earl grey.
Give it time to brew properly.
Pour it into a thermos wo you'll have hot tea for the drive
Leave thermos on the counter
Discover that it missing when you've already driven halfhour down the road.
Think about how good that tea would taste.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

the two hundred and seventy ninth story

Recipes by Kest:
How to make hot chocolate
Drop a chocolate in your cup of hot tea
Try to fish it out
It has already melted
Take a sip of hot tea with chocolate, it might be good!
It is not good.
Dump out cup
Rinse cup
Pour a new cup of hot earl grey

Saturday, December 24, 2016

the two hundred and sixty eighth story

Recipes by kest:
How to make Decaf Earl Grey
Drink your first pot of tea for the day
Boil fresh water
Pour over the previously used leaves
Allow a bit of extra time for steeping
Pour into teacup

Friday, December 23, 2016

the two hundred and sixty seventh story

Recipes by Kest
How to make lady grey tea
First, find the spot that you hid the super fancy candied violet petals you bought yourself that one time
Realize these candies are too good for mixing
Pour earl grey while allowing the candy to melt on your tongue.
Once candy is gone, enjoy tea

Thursday, December 22, 2016

the two hundred and sixty sixth story

Recipes by Kest:
How to make mint tea
See a tree with mini candy canes in a store
Think about whether they are meant to be grabbed or not
Grab one as subtly as possible, just in case.
Discover that it is broken to bits.
Upon getting home, dump broken bits into teacup
Pour Hot earl grey over broken candycane. Fill to top of cup.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

the two hundred and sixty fifth story

Recipes by Kest:
How to make black tea
Consider whether one has black candies
Maybe bats in the overflow halloween stock?
You'd have to stand up to check
Pour a cup of earl grey from the pot at your elbow

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

the two hundred and sixty fourth story

Recipes by Kest:
How to make chai-
Place several "red hot" candies in the teacup
Pour hot earl grey to brim
wait for candy to dissolve

Monday, December 19, 2016

two hundred and sixty third story

Recipes by Kest:
How to make white tea
Eat all the snowman candies
Great, now you have nothing delicious with white dye
Pour hot earl grey into teacup, anyway

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Two Hundred and Sixty Second Story

Recipes by Kest;
How to make roibus (red) tea.
First, place red christmastree shaped candy in the teacup.
Pour hot earl grey over candy, fill to top of cup
Wait for candy to dissolve

Saturday, December 17, 2016

The Two Hundred and Sixty First Story

Recipes by Kest;
How to make green tea.
First, place green christmastree shaped candy in the teacup.
Pour hot earl grey over candy, fill to top of cup
Wait for candy to dissolve

Friday, December 16, 2016

Thursday, December 15, 2016

the two hundred and fifty ninth story

The Commuter

Velma's singing voice had been the talk of five counties out in Ohio, but since arriving in the city, she hadn't gotten a single callback, no matter how many auditions she went to. For the moment, she's put her musichall dreams on the back burner & she has a pretty good job in the typing pool at a 5th avenue ad company. She can't afford an apartment anywhere nearby, which might not SOUND like such a big deal in a city with such great public transit, but she can't fit through the subway gates. She says she enjoys the five mile walk & that the air does her good & the exercise reminds her body of her youth working on the farm. She still goes to at least one audition per week & I have high hopes for her, regardless of whether she ever gets to be the star she dreamed of as a little hatchling. She's good at landing on her feet, & all her eyes are looking at the future.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

The Two Hundred and Fifty Eighth Story

I bought Baba Yaga's old house at a bankruptcy auction. She was several centuries behind in tax payments & the bureaucracy of arranging a payment plan with all the various districts... it was just beyond her. The price I agreed on was initially pretty high, but I was able to persuade the courts that with the moving about & the size(small) it didn't legally count as a house or property. That got me out of almost 80% of what was owed on the thing. I felt pretty bad for the previous owner, so I used some of that savings to buy her a VW camper in exchange for a few driving lessons in my new home. She & I still exchange letters, sometimes, but most of them get lost in the mail.