I'm leaving the old intro here, but adding this- it appears the doves have taken over my blog for their fiction. Just as well, I was doing a piss poor job of updating. They're doing much better.

This blog is infrequently updated, full of incorrect spellings, misused words, and general bad grammar. It started when I was trying to use google+ (which I've since given up on) and discovered there was no character limit for posts. If you've known me a long time, a lot of these stories will be old hat. If you plan to know me for a long time, you'll no doubt hear many of them in person. But, folks seemed to enjoy them, so here they are.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

the hundred and eighty seventh story

Once upon a time there was a mouse who let her tiny voice define her until her ideas got so big that her same tiny voice seemed huge.

Monday, September 28, 2015

the hundred and eighty fifth story

Once upon a time there was an albatross who loved a cloud. Her long wings kept up with the wind for weeks, and they were able to converse and by the time the albatross was too tired to keep up, she was pretty sure that relationship wasn't worth fighting for, anyway.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Saturday, September 26, 2015

the hundred and eighty third story

Once upon a time there was a sparrow who thought she would make a good spy. She was never officially hired, but she listened all day, and reported to sing about it every morning outside CIA headquarter's windows.

Friday, September 25, 2015

the hundred and eighty second story

Once upon a time there was a little cottontail who heard about jackalopes at summer camp. He thought they must be about the coolest things ever, so he learned to plait willow withes and made himself a pair of his very own antlers.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Hundred and Eighty First story

Once upon a time there was an apple who felt pressure to know everything. No one really thought she did, but she was still stressed about it.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

the hundred and eightieth story

Once upon a time there was a magpie who lined her nest with broken mirrors. It hurt to lay down, but it was so very shiny.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

the hundred and seventy ninth story

Once upon a time there was a little brook so fed up with the deer muddying her water that she just wanted to SCREAM, but all she could manage was a gentle babble.

Monday, September 21, 2015

the hundred and seventy eighth story

Once upon a time there was a particular shade of blue so full of herself that she forgot to be visible for a whole human generation.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

The hundred and Seventy seventh story

Once upon a time there was a fly in love with a spider. It was too dangerous for him to visit her at work, but every night, after the hunting was done, she would climb down from her web to spend the evening with him.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

the Hundred and seventy sixth story

Once upon a time there was a praying mantis who wanted to be a leaf. It went well. Very well. None of his bug friends ever saw him again (as far as they know, anyway).

Thursday, September 17, 2015

The hundred and seventy fourth story

Once upon a time there was a vulture who decided to go into miming. It's hard to apply facepaint with claws, but no one -and I mean no one- walked by his act on the street without dropping at least a few coins in his hat.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The hundred and seventy third story

Once upon a time there was a badger who really liked frilly things. It took years of collecting, but he managed to totally line his burrow with lace and doilies.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The hundred and seventy second story

Once upon a time there was a little porcelain cup who fancied herself as a badass. She was ok with serving tea, but she really preferred whiskey.

Monday, September 14, 2015

the hundred and seventy first story

Once upon a time there was a cloud who wanted to be a painter. She had to work fast, but she got two chances every day.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

The hundred and seventieth story

Once upon a time there was a whole nestful of young sparrows who decided they would rather be a hawk. They never flew but together, and would group together to form a sortof large bird shape. They looked nothing like a hawk, but still, no one messed with them.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

the hundred and sixty ninth story

Once upon a time there was a word who did not like her definition in the dictionary. First she tried finding all the new edition and retyping them, but that was a losing battle, so she went to social media

Friday, September 11, 2015

the hundred and sixty eighth story

Once upon a time there was a tiny lizard who always introduced himself to new acquaintances as a velociraptor. There is no one, anywhere, more upset about the whole "feathered dinosaur" thing. 

Thursday, September 10, 2015

The hundred and sixty seventh story

Once upon a time there was a typewriter who was tired of being told what to do.

We don't know what to do about this.

We really don't.

Sorry.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Monday, September 7, 2015

the hundred and sixty fifth story

Once upon a time there was a chicken who saw some easter eggs. She thought they were just the prettiest thing you ever did see. She wanted to try laying something like that. She ate carrots for orange, and beets for red, and broccoli for green, but... it just didn't come out right at all. her eggs were a plain brown. She looked at them, and decided that plain brown was beautiful.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

the hundred and sixty third and hundred and sixty fourth story


Once upon a time there was an abandoned bicycle who didn't have much to do. One day he saw a hen walking down the road, struggling to carry a whole basket of eggs. He offered to help, but it's difficult for a bicycle to balance alone. The hen climbed up to help with that, and they wove off into the sunset, no longer abandoned for him, and, well, moving faster, for her.

Once upon a time there was a chicken in love with a bicycle. She's been brought up to think she needed a coop with a door and a roost and all that, but after a bit of thinking she decided she didn't need all that, and they just rode all over the country, with her sleeping nights in his basket.

(the birds fourth and fifth for-profit stories. They tried to get fancy and link them. Four the two stories they were given the words chicken, bicycle, kindness, and simplicity)

Saturday, September 5, 2015

The Hundred and Sixty Second Story

Once upon a time there was a tent who was actually a little nervous about that storm that's rolling in from the west...

Friday, September 4, 2015

The hundred and sixty first Story

Once upon a time there was a blanket who loved cuddles. Never has there been someone so universally happy as that blanket.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

the hundred and sixtieth story

Once upon a time there was a great big old oak tree who took a liking to a local dog. She would drop branches for him to "fetch" but he never knew quite where to take them.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

the hundred and fifty eigth story

Once upon a time there was a leaf who wanted to be a feather. It never exactly happened, but come fall she did get to fly.