I'm leaving the old intro here, but adding this- it appears the doves have taken over my blog for their fiction. Just as well, I was doing a piss poor job of updating. They're doing much better.

This blog is infrequently updated, full of incorrect spellings, misused words, and general bad grammar. It started when I was trying to use google+ (which I've since given up on) and discovered there was no character limit for posts. If you've known me a long time, a lot of these stories will be old hat. If you plan to know me for a long time, you'll no doubt hear many of them in person. But, folks seemed to enjoy them, so here they are.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

the sixty second story

there's a secret I haven't told you. I have a diary. I only write in it occasionally, and it exists on my harddrive, there are no paper copies. It isn't public, but, I wanted to tell the story of this day, and the fact is- there's no way I can do a better job than to simply copy and paste the word document into this space. So, I know that this was written on 5/24/99. This is the unedited text of a 17 year old girl's diary, complete with embarrassing bits on my adolescent interest in boys. It was a grand day.

I forgot my shoes
Not really, though
I had one
See, last week I was looking for my boots
And yesterday my mother borrowed the car
Cause its big
For cages
And she saw one of my boots
And she told me so
And I figured if there was one there would be two
And this morning I was in a hurry
So I figured there would be two
And I left
And I went to school
And I got to school
And there was only one
So I didn't have shoes
And it was raining a little then
So my socks were wet
And I went to class
And my math teacher won't tell us what our final project is
And then I went to English
And we had a seminar on time
I liked Gatsby
And Nick didn't live in the past
And fourth period I made graphs
And I forgot to eat lunch
But I was hungry
So I went to gym
And didn't do much
And sixth period I went to get money
From Phil
For lunch
But I forgot lunch again
I had given my five dollars to Sarav
Except that sarav wasn't there
So I wrote all over it
So no one else would take it
That was fourth period
Or maybe fifth
And sixth I spent in someone else's English class
And seventh was physics, except it wasn't
And I had all six physics books in a paper bag with handles
And then all I had was the handles
And then I was lugging all six physics books around in my arms
Six physics books weigh about 20 pounds
And then I carried them all down to the library
But I didn't go to the library
Me and my physics books went to the tech room, instead
I need to finish my fish
And I talked physics with a little freshman
He's going to be the next Bill Gates
I need to marry a rich man
He doesn't believe in faeries
He's a freshman
Elana says he likes me
He's a freshman
I'm so petty
Eighth was French
I went
Stuff due tomorrow
No filming after school
English instead
Food first
I had forgotten to eat lunch
We went out to my car to go to the Deli
The most Surreal five minutes of Elana's life
Me with no shoes, dancing in the rain
Thunder Lightening
Sheets of rain
W e both got in car
Chris was on the windshield
Funny, he wasn't there a second before
Not moving,
We can't have run over him
We haven't moved yet
Wipers weren't on, couldn't see him till he was pressed up against the glass
Not his face
His whole body
I need to wash my car
Why won't the Rain?
He went to Elana's window
Said he's soaked
Ran around to my side of the car
Elana was still looking for him out her window
I jumped out to dance, Chris jumped in
Elana looked over at me
I was Chris
Elana looked confused
Chris got out
I got in
Chris ran off
I turned on wipers and drove to the deli
I got a sandwich
Elana got sugar
Back to the tech room
I said I'm changing clothes in there
Brendan offered to duct tape venetian blinds up for me
We made Brendan leave
I change
Clothes strewn all over tech room
I laugh and put them away
I had a change of clothes in the tech room
We went back outside the library to eat
Brendan came
He missed his bus
Raining to hard to walk
He'd melt or something
Maybe short-circuit
I drove him home at three
Before that he played with my physics books
I can talk physics with him
Talk about surreal
He's a freshman
I came back
And went to go to the bathroom
On the way I put green footprints on the wall
I wiped off some of the paint
And put my socks back on
Later the green seeped through
We did English
Talk about surreal
We hear,
Topless dancers are the same as models
I agree
Elana doesn't
Elana took modeling classes
No matter what you do,
you have to sell yourself or starve
I think I'll starve
Maybe I'll sell myself
And marry a rich man
Maybe I'll be a topless dancer
But I can't dance
And I don't have a middle name
So I'll starve
And paint
And eat paint
I don't like that
I don't know what I'll do
We all go home.

No comments:

Post a Comment