I'm leaving the old intro here, but adding this- it appears the doves have taken over my blog for their fiction. Just as well, I was doing a piss poor job of updating. They're doing much better.

This blog is infrequently updated, full of incorrect spellings, misused words, and general bad grammar. It started when I was trying to use google+ (which I've since given up on) and discovered there was no character limit for posts. If you've known me a long time, a lot of these stories will be old hat. If you plan to know me for a long time, you'll no doubt hear many of them in person. But, folks seemed to enjoy them, so here they are.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Eightieth Story

One of my old neighbors interviewed for a cleared job with the government, and warned me that the FBI might want to talk to someone in the neighborhood and asked if i was ok with this (I gather it was a high clearance). Weeks passed. I forgot. I got a knock on the door, and went up to answer it, dustmask and hearing protection in place, hammer in my right hand, glove on my left. I opened the door, and stood there dumbfounded, thinking "Not the UPS man, Shoes to shiny to be selling bibles" while he stood on his side, presumably thinking "THIS is the person he's got vouching for him?".

Once we got past this, I invited him in and offered him tea. He asked me questions about my neighbor. I admitted a large amount of ignorance, but said i liked the fellow well enough. He asked me, several times, in several different ways, if I would recommend him for the job. I responded, several times, in several different ways, that without knowing the job, I couldn't well know the answer. "I'd trust him to feed my dog, but I wouldn't trust that he knows the proper way to feed, say, an elephant. It's not a referendum on his character. I think he's great. But I have NO IDEA whether he'd be good for the vague task you are describing"


  1. That may actually be in his interest. Shows you're honest and not puffing him and all.

  2. Good point, that. Though I'm a little less sure about my appearance helping.